Okay, if you are a person that cries this story about me finding Jesus is the one to read here (laughing). But in all seriousness I posted a Instagram photo yesterday saying how I love Jesus and my flaws. So I thought that’s just a glimpse of I what I wanted to say. Why not tell my story on how I found Jesus and discuss the person I was before and right now.
I’ve always believed in God and I knew he loved me. Would always go to church and youth group just because I felt I had to at the time.
I grew up in Lansing, Michigan. My family and I moved to Cincinnati in 1997. My loving Dad passed away when I was two because of heart problems. My mother has been the best role model ever in my life. I have two brothers (Junior 23, Matthew 15). I went to school at Symmes Elementary before moving to Mason in 4th grade.
The Middle School years weren’t the best I was teased and sometimes bullied by others because of my weight. If you know me you would know that I was a quiet person in 7th and 8th grade. I wasn’t comfortable in myself and overall hated the way I looked.
I knew I had to make a change to my lifestyle so I started running thanks to my best friend Tate who has made a big impact in my life. I loss a lot of weight because of running and ran cross country and track in high school. Had lots of friends and was comfortable in myself. Life was good at the time.
Did I kept going to church during high school? Yes but I was just going there just to see my friends and not really pay attention to the sermons. If I can go back in time and change my ways and do it all over again in a heartbeat I will!
Everything changed after high school. So I started going to college at UC. I was so scared because I thought I was not going to have any friends cause I was used to my friends in high school being there all the time. So I started doing stuff that was totally out of the ordinary of myself to get notice. I started smoking weed and drinking. I was going out and hanging with the wrong crowd. I just wanted to fit in and have everyone like me.
During the time I never went to church and I stayed away from God. When sophomore year came rolling along I still kept doing the same stuff but I notice a change towards the end of it and into the summer time. None of my friends wanted to hang out with me and I didn’t know why. I felt so lonely and fell into depression. I told myself “Why doesn’t nobody want to hang out with me? I’ve hit a low spot in my life.
The night of July 22d, 2013 forever changed my life. I was alone in my room and it was another night of staying in the house because I thought I had no friends at the time. So it was around 2am and I’m just sitting in my bed thinking its time to end this. Went down to the kitchen and grabbed a knife, took it back to my room and I was ready to just end my life there. But then I heard a voice over my ear saying “don’t do this” I knew it was Jesus and I’m thinking to myself “this can’t be!” Then and there I knew he was in my room.
I cried and put the knife down and bow down to my knees and said “Jesus! I need you! I want you! I’m sorry for everything! Come rescue me! I surrender my life to you!” Getting a little emotional just thinking about that night. Everything changed and the next morning I told my family what has been going on with me lately. It was one of the hardest things I had to do.
Since then, Jesus has the been the main focus in my life from the time I wake up in the morning and when I go to bed. I’ve met new people in my life that have a relationship with him. There have been friendships that have come and go. I hold no grudges back then I used too. It’s been hard ever since I accepted him into my life. I still have my doubts, worries, and questions. But it’s just awesome knowing that I can turn to God for everything and he’s my source of light and hope!
I just wanna give thanks to my family, especially my old brother Junior whose life has changed because of Jesus, he has given me such great help through my faith journey and I’m grateful for that! My best friend Tate was the first of my friends to know my depression and he took me under his wing to help me get through it and grow in my faith.
My church I go to which is Crossroads is where I got baptize last May. I love it because of the community and how real they are in their love for Jesus!
Guys, I’m still struggling and what I said in that Instagram post yesterday is very true. Jesus is the reason I’m still here today and breathing. He’s so amazing and loving. Weather you don’t believe it he loves all of you so much and he’s always going to be there for you forever! Cling on hope to him! And if you ever make the decision to follow him for the rest of your life it will be the best decision you’ll ever make!
Also, music has changed my life as well. Listening to real songs with awesome messages about God! The “116” clique group with Lecrae, Trip Lee, Andy Mineo, and KB. They’re music has been so influential! You all should definitely check it out!
Peace & love.